Well, I’ve been scraping along bottom for 3 or 4 days now and I’ve at that place in the cycle where I’m sick and tired of just sitting here feeling like crap. I went to Pilates on Saturday and I was so sore and stiff and I could barely do the stuff and I was doing fairly readily two weeks ago. That was a drag. So I guess it’s time to take some action, like it or not.
Every time I get to this point in one of the fibromyalgia flare-ups I make up my mind to get up and get moving again regardless of how it makes me feel. I’m not sure if this is a well-reasoned, intelligent decision, but I guess ultimately I would rather feel like crap physically but mentally & spiritually feel like I’m doing everything I can. It beats the hell out of just feeling like crap. I mean, I’m going to feel bad either way… may as well burn some calories.
So I strapped on my sneakers I went for a walk this morning, and I hit the gym at lunch. I’m doing what I can to get in the best work out possible, given the situation. Netflix is my friend here… I logged on to the Wi-Fi network at Golds and watched the first 30 minutes of “The History of the Eagles: (the band, not the football team) and it made the time pass much more quickly. As the afternoon crawls by I am sinking back into a sea of aches and pains, but at least I took some action. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.
And now about food….
I don’t know why I forget what work so quickly, why I go back to things that don’t work in hopes that they will make a difference, but I do. A couple of weeks ago I cut all the carbs out of my breakfast and my lunch in an effort to cut some calories out of my day and encouraged my weight to start going down again. And I experienced what always happens when I cut the calories out of breakfast and lunch, I got incredibly hungry from dinner to bed time. And I spent a week completely confused as to why I was feeling so out of control late at night when things have been going so well. Actually it took almost two weeks to realize that the change and eating coincided with the removal of the carbs. So… I’ve added the cars back in, at least most of them, and after only a day it’s already making a difference. I can be such a dumbass. Plus, I like to give up the things I want to give up. I’m fine with eating less for breakfast or lunch, but when it comes to dinner and everything after I don’t really want to look at it. Carly my nutritionist said she’s got some changes that she wants me to try starting later this week and I’m looking forward to that, and I’m praying for the willingness to do whatever is put in front of me and hopes that it will lead me somewhere new.