Well, I was afraid of that…
I went to see a nutritionist that specializes in helping people with eating disorders (there, I said it) put together food plans that will help them stay on track. I printed out the last months’ worth of food diary from MyFitnessPal and took it along with me. We sat and talked and I told her my history around food and weight, and about the journey I have been on since the first of 2014. She looked at my food log and my exercise log, paused for a minute and said “Wow, you are doing a really good job…”
That was not the news I wanted to hear… I wanted her to say “Oh, well… (pointing at the log) HERE’S why you’re not losing any weight!” Instead she talked about plateaus, and time, and other things that I can’t do much about. Except what I’ve been doing, which is apparently pretty close to the right thing. I mean, it’s great that I’m doing so well, but it doesn’t give me much of anything to DO except keep on keeping on. She also said that it will probably take another year to get the rest of the weight off. A YEAR? Awesome… So now not only do I have to eat right and work out, I have to learn PATIENTS? I never signed up to be patient… time… what a bastard.
Actually, she gave me some great suggestions about little ways to change what I eat and when that she said will help. Not just help with weight loss, but with the out of control feeling I struggle with around food sometimes. She reiterated what Kylie (my HEB dietitian from the Showdown) told me about eating more early in the day. She also broke down the different processing time the body takes to convert carbs and protein into glucose it can use and she explained how adding a protein here and some carbs there will even things out nutritionally and physically for me. Then, whatever compulsive eating is left is driven by psychological, emotional and ultimately spiritual issues. Fixing the nutrition side of things will help to clear up a lot of it, and I have tools for the rest.
So… no quick fixes, nothing for it but time and commitment. This path I am on is exactly like getting sober was. Once I admitted to myself that it has to happen, there’s no way to pretend I don’t have to and revert to old behaviors. I can’t un-know the truth. And so… onward I guess.